“This is Dumb.”

 

Can I just be real? The past two weeks have been crazy for me. Let’s talk about that shall we:

1. Well for starters, I somehow managed to overbook our schedule.

I’m a stickler for putting things in my calendar and even setting reminders to trigger my memory for all we have going on. However, I dropped the ball these past two weeks which made for a very full schedule. We managed to do it all, but it made for some crazy days.

2. The starter in my car went out.

Let me be more specific. The starter in my car started acting up and on the way to take it to the mechanic, it started literally smoking. Luckily, the mechanic I was taking it to was my husband. Although, it wouldn’t cost us nearly as much as it would cost someone who didn’t have a mechanic in their family, we still had to pay for parts. That was a couple hundred dollars that we ended up putting on the credit card….You know the one that we had JUST paid off completely a few days prior.

3. We got a parking ticket.

Did I mention it was for not having our receipt displayed properly when it was? Did I tell you that it was 40 dollars? Did I say that it was when we were out for a birthday dinner for hubby? Did I mention that the restaurant we had in mind ended up being closed so we got that ticket for nothing?

Such a mess! We ended up laughing about it so we didn’t cry (aka burn down a  building). Don’t worry I called and got everything squared away and we WON’T be paying for the ticket that we shouldn’t have got in the first place.

4. Kids.

Really if I left it at that, you get it. What made these past two weeks especially hard is that the littlest one has been growing teeth like there is not tomorrow. Which means sleepless nights for us. Let me tell you, being sleepless in Seattle isn’t nearly as romantic as it sounds.

5. Oh, also this:

swollen eyes

 

My eyes have been taking taking turns swelling and breaking out in hives. We are suspecting it’s allergies (something I have never had in the past), but really we don’t know what’s going on. Not going to lie, these aren’t even the worst photos. The other ones were just too gross. lol The scene where Will Smith’s face swells up on “Hitch’ is a good reference point if you’re interested.

No worries though, because this is the week I started my acting class.

That’s right.

Naturally, my face would swell up and my life get extra crazy right before I decided to go after one of the very first things I could remember always wanting to do: Acting.

At first, when I decided to take this class I was excited. I love trying new things and this is something I had always wanted to try. Every since I was little, I loved putting on productions and acting things out from my favorite movies. I used to write stories and plays and then try to get my little brother to act out the different scenes with me. Poor kid. Anytime, He would mess up a scene, I would let out an  exasperated “cut!” then you would see my little hands fumble around with the camera until it turned off.

In junior high, I was in a couple of plays with school and although I would complain with the other kids to fit in, I secretly loved it! I took Drama in high school. I would jot down ideas I had for SNL type skits. My mind has always been full of ideas for funny short scenes. It’s was my not so secret dream to be a host on SNL! Or better yet a writer for a show like that or a sitcom.

That’s all they were though: silly little dreams. I mean its not like I could actually do something with acting. I would always be the girl who would watch musicals and live theater and in my heart wish I could be up there. That was it. I never really mentioned my heart for acting to anyone outside of my husband. When I started this blog, I knew that the very first thing I was supposed to do was take a acting class.

As excited as I was at the idea of taking the class, it also felt dumb. I would say things like:

“I mean, why would I take an acting class?

“I may not even be that good at it.”

It’s a waste of time.”

It’s not like I’m going to end up famous or something.

“I’m a stay at home mom.”

I’m 29. If wanted to do something like this I should have done it sooner. It’s too late.”

One day I vented all of this to my husband and said “Seriously, babe. This is dumb. Why should I take an acting class?” I’ll never forget how he looked me in the eye as he said “Because it is something you have always wanted to do. So do it.” I signed up for the class that night.

I was in a good place and really looking forward to it. Then these past two weeks of craziness happened and I found myself saying the same thing to myself. “This is dumb. My life is way too busy to be wasting my time on these silly dreams.” Then I stumbled upon some old pictures of myself. I looked into the eyes of the four year old girl staring back at me and I knew. I knew I owed it to that little girl to go after those dreams she had been carrying in her heart for all of those years.

Yesterday, I went to my first class. I wanted to cry. In that moment I wasn’t just in an acting class. I was  granting the wish of a little girl who had been asking me to do this for her for years. I was talking to my mom on the phone later and I said to her “Mom, I can’t explain it, but it felt like….” I paused trying to think of the right words. “Home.” she jumped in. I could hear the smile in her voice. “Yes.” I smiled back. “Home.”

Listen, I have no idea what I will get from the class. I don’t know how far it will take me. There are a couple of different possibilities really. Maybe I will learn that acting isn’t for me and find peace in that. Maybe, I will find my true passion and pursue it with all of my might. Maybe I will be successful in it and actually make money in it one day. Maybe I will find nothing more than a hobby that brings me great joy.

Or perhaps it’s about none of that. Maybe this class was just part of the journey to following my heart. It will be one of those things I don’t have to look back on with regret wishing that I would have tried at least once. Whatever the reason, I’m glad I tried. I’m glad I finally said yes to that little girl’s wish. I’m happy I followed my heart and look forward to seeing just what I’ll discover along the way.

~Megan

 

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